Seven degrees of Blonde

First degree ...

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How

should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband

said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."


Second Degree ...

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the

sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror

and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here,

let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one

looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"


Third Degree ...

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and

buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the

door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really

angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is

overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend

yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"


Fourth Degree ...

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly

says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,

what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."


Fifth Degree ...

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"


Sixth Degree ...

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US

government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.

Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the

decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."


Seventh Degree ...

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house

ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the

crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,

patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer

approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,

shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the

steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my

possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They

send me a BLIND policeman."


Eighth Degree ...

One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast.
  They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of
  snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the
  street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and
  moves her car.

  A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio
  announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You
  must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the
  snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car

  The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio
  announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today You
  must park ..." Then the power goes out.

  Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she
  says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I
  need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"

  With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are
  married to blondes exhibit, Norman says ..

  "Why do n't you just leave it in the garage this time?"