Seven degrees of Blonde
First degree ...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How
should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband
said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."
Second Degree ...
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here,
let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one
looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
Third Degree ...
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
Fourth Degree ...
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
Fifth Degree ...
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
Sixth Degree ...
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs.
Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
Seventh Degree ...
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the
crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the
steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They
send me a BLIND policeman."
Eighth Degree ...
One winter morning a couple was
listening to the radio over breakfast.
They hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of
snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the
street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and
moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio
announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You
must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the
snowplows can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio
announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today You
must park ..." Then the power goes out.
Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she
says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I
need to park on so the snowplows can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are
married to blondes exhibit, Norman says ..
"Why do n't you just leave it in the garage this time?"