The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for
a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.


Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt,
the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple
begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.


Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe
Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her
children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe

Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda
Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable thoughout childhood
subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He
returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.

So, NOW if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can
beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but the entire
Schitt list!