"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man."
"I believe that sex is one of the
most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither."
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as
meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have
no sex life at all."
"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet."
"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen."
Rev. Sydney Smith
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
"I can remember when the air was
clean and sex was dirty."
"I can remember when riding motorcycles was dangerous and sex was safe."
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
"My kid had sex with your honor student."
"My sexual preference is not you."
"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're
doing it too fast."
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot
pool with a rope."
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."